he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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