I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
