no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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