do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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