no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize