Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
