i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
