how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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