Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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