well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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