Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
