Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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