When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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