I love black thongs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So vagazzling was a success
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
