did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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