Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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