Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You need a sexual gate keeper
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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