exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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