My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize