good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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