can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
