I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
