it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
