Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have fence marks all over my body
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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