just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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