Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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