I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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