PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
