we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
