and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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