WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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