what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
