You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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