tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
