every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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