Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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