Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
