Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
