he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
