Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We have started to decorate penises.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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