Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
