halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize