do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
