So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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