Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
