i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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