I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
