You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
