How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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