idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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