Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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