Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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