hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
