The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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