Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
