Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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