Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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