I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
