We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have demons in me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
