this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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