careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
